Mars & Venus

Children and Parents …

Posted on July 17, 2017. Filed under: Indian Thought, Mars & Venus, Searching for Success |

Kahlil Gibran – “Your children are from you, but they are not yours.”

Perhaps the best dialogues between a Parent and a grown up Child is in the Sidney Poitier movie, ‘Guess who is coming for Dinner’ It covers both sides of the aisle.

Parents who forge strong, close bonds with their children but ‘LET GO’ when they have grown up are to be admired. As in everything every where, Change is the only Constant.

Parent-child relationship is not permanent and control gradually gives way to need for support.We must not let the child feel deprived or lacking in filial support when they were young. Neither should we let them feel stifled when are growing up.

The role of parents is a journey of love and wisdom! Not only in one’s role as parents, but also in life there are many moments that we need to learn to stand firm or to give way.

Very often some wonder why have children at all? Is it to carry on the family’s name, or is it insurance for old age? Actually it is a wonder and a joy one can not exchange for anything in the World!

Never seek perfection nor accept the unacceptable. As in everything a fine balance is needed. We should only ask for the chance to walk with the journey of life in this beautiful world!

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Falling in Love …

Posted on June 12, 2017. Filed under: Guide Posts, Mars & Venus, Searching for Success |

During a seminar, a woman asks, “How do I know if I married the right person?” There was this guy sitting next to her, so the guy asks, “Is that your husband?” Taken aback she asks, “How did you guess?” He goes onto explain.

’Every relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love. Because it’s happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept off my feet.” Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It’s a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It’s the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens) and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship but if you think about your marriage you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angrier subsequent stage. At this point, you or your spouse might start asking, “Did I marry the right person?”

As you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown.

People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better.


SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It’ll NEVER just happen to you. You can’t “find” LASTING love. You have to “make” it day in and day out.

That’s why we have the expression “the labor of love.” Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM.

You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It’s  direct cause and effect.

If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. You can “make” love. Love in marriage is indeed a “decision”. Not just a feeling. “No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE. No one stays in love by chance, it is by CHOICE.’

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‘Red’ Skeleton! Any One Remembers him? …

Posted on February 9, 2017. Filed under: Mars & Venus |

Twice a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas .

I take my wife everywhere…. but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. ‘Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!’ she said. So I suggested the kitchen.We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said ‘There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!’   So I bought her an electric chair.

My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, ‘In the lake.’

She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, ‘Am I too late for the garbage?’ The driver said, ‘No, jump in!’

Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce. I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.

 The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, ‘What’s on the TV?’ I said, ‘Dust!’
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Beware the Oldies …

Posted on February 3, 2017. Filed under: Mars & Venus, Uncategorized |

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked: “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?

She responded:  “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.


The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked: “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?

She again replied: “Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him“. The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and, in a very quiet voice, said:
If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair.
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The Great Scot – Robert Luis Stevenson …

Posted on November 25, 2010. Filed under: Guide Posts, Mars & Venus, The Grand Scots |

Robert Louis Stevenson was a Scottish novelist greatly admired by, among others, Hemingway, Kipling, Nabokov and Chesterton. Here are some of his gems.

An aim in life is the only fortune worth finding. To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life. Our buisness is not to succeed but to continue to fail in good spirits. 

There is no duty we so much under rate as the duty of being happy. By being happy we sow anonymous benefits upon the world. The habit of being happy enables one to be freed, or largely freed, from the domination of outward conditions.

 Quiet minds cannot be perplexed or frightened, but go on in fortune or misfortune at their own private pace, like a clock in a thunderstorm. Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well. Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others.

Keep your eyes open to your mercies. The man who forgets to be thankful has fallen asleep in life. So long as we love, we serve. Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.

Every heart that has beat strongly and cheerfully has left a hopeful impulse behind it in the world, and bettered the tradition of mankind. There is an idea among moral people that they should make their neighbors good; but one person I have to make good is myself. My duty to my neighbor is better expressed by saying that I have to make him happy.

Every one lives by selling something. Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer.

Absences are a good influence in love and keep it bright and delicate. But marriage is like life – it is a field of battle, not a bed of roses.   Marriage, makes a man slack and selfish; he undergoes a fatty degeneration of his moral being.  ……   You can forgive people who do not follow your philosophical discussion; but to find your wife laughing when you have tears in your eyes or staring when you were full of laughter, should suffice to dissolve the marriage.


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Marlene Dietrich … Among the Best …

Posted on May 25, 2010. Filed under: Guide Posts, Light plus Weighty, Mars & Venus, Movies |

Marlene Dietrich started as s cabaret singer and chorus girl in the 1920s Berlin. She was Hollywood star in the 1930s.  She constantly re-invented herself and became one of entertainment icons of the 20th century. The American Film Institute ranked her amongst the Greatest Female Stars of All Time. Earnest Hemingway on Marlene Dietrich – “I know that everytime I have seen Marlene Dietrich, it has done something to my heart and made me happy. If this makes her mysterious, then it is a fine mystery”. Here she is in her own words.

 I dress for the image. Not for myself, not for the public, not for fashion, not for men.

 The average man is more interested in a woman who is interested in him than he is in a woman with beautiful legs.

To be a complete woman you need a master and in him a compass for your life. You need a man you can look up to and respect. If you dethrone him it’s no wonder that you are discontented; and discontented women are not loved for long.

Most women set out to try to change a man, and when they have changed him they do not like him. Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast. Grumbling is the death of love.

How do you know love is gone? If you said that you would be there at seven and you get there by nine, and he or she has not called the police yet – it’s gone.

It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter. There is a gigantic difference between earning a great deal of money and being rich.

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Wit and Wisdom of a Woman …

Posted on May 24, 2010. Filed under: Guide Posts, Light plus Weighty, Mars & Venus |

Helen Rowland was a very quotable journalist and humorist whose possible counter was the acerbic HL Mencken. Here are her gems.

Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.

It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son.  Another woman comes and takes twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth – and endures the rest for life.

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. There are only two kinds of men – the dead and the deadly.

A husband is what is left of a lover after the nerve has been extracted.

It isn’t tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying but it’s separating himself from all the others.    A man’s heart may have a secret sanctuary where only one woman may enter but it is full of little ante rooms which are seldom vacant.

When a man makes a woman his wife, it’s the highest compliment he can pay her. And it’s usually the last.

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man. And she takes everything he says to her with a grain of salt. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Before marriage, a man will lay down his life for you. After marriage he won’t even lay down his newspaper.

When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment but his charming manners that won her heart.

After a few years of marriage a man can look right at a woman without seeing her. And a woman can see right through a man without looking at him.

Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.

And Verily, a woman may need but know one man and understand all men; whereas a man may know all women yet understand not one of them.

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HL Mencken … acerbic as any …

Posted on May 23, 2010. Filed under: American Thinkers, Guide Posts, Light plus Weighty, Mars & Venus |

H. L. Mencken, the “Sage of Baltimore “, was an acerbic critic of life and culture. An nfluential writer and prose stylist, made famous by his satirical reporting of the Scopes trial, which he dubbed the ‘Monkey’ trial.  A libertarian, Mencken wrote on just about everything. He attacked ignorance, intolerance, and the fraudulent. Here he is on Life, Love, Women and Marriage.

Time stays, we go!

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf.

 The true man or woman is always amused rather than shocked.

It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.

Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends – it is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another; it is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia – to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess.

Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them.

Love is like war: – easy to begin but very hard to stop.

Men and women belong to different species and communication between them is still in its infancy

Temptation is a woman’s weapon and man’s excuse.

If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse – as a man shoots himself.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t they’d be married too.

The only really happy folk are married women and single men.

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. 

Women have simple tastes. They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in love.

No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not so if he is married.

If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.

When one is young, a wife is a mistress; when one is in middle age, a wife is a companion and when one is old, a wife is a nurse.

Men have a much better time of it than women – for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.

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Hedy Lamarr … Famous, Naughty, Philosophical

Posted on May 1, 2010. Filed under: Books, Light plus Weighty, Mars & Venus, Movies |

Women, at least the glamorous ones, are supposed to be dumb. Hedy Lamar (1913 – 2000) was a curvaceous, sexy Swedish blonde of the 1940s. In the motion picture ‘Samson and Delilah’, she played the ultimate siren to Victor Mature’s Samson. Sadly at the fag end of a great career, she was sent to jail for stealing a sandwich! She seems to have been more intelligent than most and her musings are forthright and indeed as profound as Plato. Here she is on her life and views.

Compromise and tolerance are magic words. It took me 40 years to become philosophical.

I have not been that wise. Health I have taken for granted. Love I have demanded, perhaps too much and too often. As for money, I have only realized its true worth when I didn’t have it.

All a woman needs is a good bath, clean clothes and for her hair to be combed. These things she can do herself.

I very seldom go to the hairdresser, but when I do, I just marvel.

Any girl can be glamorous – all she has to do is stand still and look stupid.

Analysis gave me great freedom of emotions and fantastic confidence.  I felt I had served my time as a puppet.

All creative people want to do the unconventional.

I know why most people never get rich. They put the money ahead of the job. If you just think of the job, the money will automatically follow. This never fails.

I would tell anyone who wants something from someone else to feign as if he/she does not want it. People are perverse. If you show great affection for them, they run the other way.

I can excuse everything but boredom. Boring people don’t have to stay that way.

I know when I’m working I seldom get into trouble. My educated guess is that boredom has caused most of the problems with Hollywood celebrities.

And I never go to funerals. To me a person is dead when he breathes for the last time. After that, your memories should be personal.

Experts always know everything but the fine points. When I took my citizenship exams, no one there knew how the White House came to be called the White House.

Mr. DeMille’s theory of sexual difference was that marriage is an artificial state for women. They only want to be taken, ruled, raped. That was his theory.

And American men, as a group, seem to be interested in only two things – money and breasts. It seems a very narrow outlook.

The ladder of success in Hollywood is usually a press agent, actor, director, producer, leading man. And you are a star if you sleep with each of them in that order. Crude, but true.

I liked oversexed people. The few I know were always talented and sensitive. I’m oversexed myself and I’ve never kept that a secret.

A good deal of sex is quite amusing. Maybe, especially in marriage, people overestimate the good or bad that serious sex can do.

Perhaps my problem in marriage, and it is the problem of many women, was to want both intimacy and independence. It is a difficult line to walk. Yet both needs are important to a marriage.

It’s funny about men and women. Men pay in cash to get them and pay in cash to get rid of them. Women pay emotionally, coming and going. Neither has it easy.

Each of my six husbands loved me for a different reason.

I am not ashamed to say that no man I ever met was my father’s equal. And I never loved any man as much.

Her biography begins –

“On a recent evening, sitting home alone suffering and brooding about my treatment at the police station because of an incident in a department store -and being replaced by Zsa Zsa Gabor in a motion picture (imagine how that pleased the ego!) I figured out that I had made—and spent—some thirty million dollars. Yet earlier that day I had been unable to pay for a sandwich at a drug-store and had had to go to jail.”

For more on Hedy Lamarr

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A Fairy Tale …

Posted on November 15, 2009. Filed under: Mars & Venus |

“It was a busy morning, about 8:30 , when an elderly gentleman in his 80’s arrived at the hospital to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor’s appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer’s Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.

He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. I was surprised, and asked him, ‘And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are?’

He smiled, as he patted my hand and said, ‘She doesn’t know me, But I still know who she is.’ ………………. I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, ‘That is the kind of love I want in my life.’

True love is neither Physical, nor Romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

With all the jokes and fun that are on the net and elsewhere, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message. This one needed to be  shared. The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything they have. ‘Life isn’t about how to survive the storm. Its about dancing in the rain’.

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