Light plus Weighty

Battle of Two Museums …

Posted on September 20, 2017. Filed under: Light plus Weighty, Personalities, Uncategorized |

2017 is undoubtedly the year of the feud. As celebrities and corporations alike take to Twitter to hash things out, two of the UK’s most respected scientific institutions, the Science Museum and the Natural History Museum, have got in on the action.

http://www.newstatesman.com/science-tech/social-media/2017/09/two-museums-are-having-fight-twitter-and-its-gloriously

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The Smart Kid …

Posted on May 23, 2017. Filed under: Light plus Weighty |

This kid will be a success ! He is brilliant!                                                                                    ..

Q1.. In which battle did Napoleon die? …  * His last battle

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Q2.. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? … * At the bottom of the page
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Q3.. River Ravi flows in which state? …  * Liquid
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Q4.. What is the main reason for divorce? …* Marriage
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Q5.. What is the main reason for failure? …* Exams
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Q6.. What can you never eat for breakfast? … * Lunch & dinner
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Q7.. What looks like half an apple … * The other half
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Q8.. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what will it become?… * Wet
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 Q9.. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ? …* By sleeping at night.
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Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? …*   You will never find an elephant that has one hand.
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Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have? … * Very large hands
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Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? … *No time at all, the wall is already built.
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Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? … *Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.
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CHEERS!
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Wonderful Witty Ad …

Posted on January 27, 2017. Filed under: Light plus Weighty |

Carnation Milk 65 Years Ago.

A little old lady from Wisconsin had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation.
When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in the 1940s, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan.The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with………… ‘Carnation Milk is best of all.

She thought to herself, I know everything there is to know about milk and dairy farms.
I can do this!

She sent in her entry and several weeks later a black car pulled up in front of her house  ….

A large man got out, knocked on her door and said, “Ma’am,….. I am President of Carnation milk. We absolutely LOVED your entry…..So much, in fact, that we are here to award you $1,000 even though we will not be able to use it our advertisements!”—-He did, however, have one printed up to hang on his office wall.

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Carnation Milk is Best of All,
No tits to pull, No  hay to haul,
No buckets to wash, No shit to pitch,
Just Poke a hole in the Son of a Bitch!
True Story!!!
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This Wonderful English Language …

Posted on December 24, 2016. Filed under: Guide Posts, Light plus Weighty, The English, Uncategorized |

C. N. Annadurai was a prominent Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu, India,  known for his proficiency in English. Once at Yale University he was asked to mention a hundred words which did not have any of the letters –  A, B, C or D.

He promptly recited ‘One to Ninety Nine’ ………….. and then shouted ‘STOP’ – thus completing the one hundred words without any  of the Four Letters !

The next request was to  construct a sentence repeating ‘because’ three times contiguously.

After a moments thought, he says, “A sentence never ends with ‘because,’ because ‘because’ is a conjunction”.

Over to Messrs Shakespeare and Milton!

 

 

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Acciaroli – Where 1/5 of the Population is Hundred Plus …

Posted on October 17, 2016. Filed under: Guide Posts, Light plus Weighty |

Acciaroli ………..  the Place Where People Live Long!

There is a small hamlet in south west Italy where more than 10% of the people are aged over 100, and 20% of this number live to be 110. This extraordinary statistic completely dwarfs the number of American, British or Australian centenarians, which stands at around 1 per 5,000 of the population.

It’s for this reason that a study has just been conducted to find out why the beautiful village of Acciaroli is the place with the oldest residents in the world. The results are out, and the news is staggering – and very exciting.

When Dr. Alan Maisel of the University of California first decided to study the area he was chiefly interested because the people didn’t seem to lead such healthy lifestyles.

He said: “We would notice these people were walking around. Some would be smoking, some would be pretty fat as well, and it just seemed [beyond] the usual health benefits of just the Mediterranean diet.”

The amazing thing about Acciaroli is that the local people here live a happy life and don’t pay much attention to their health. Not only do they smoke a lot, they also eat greasy, fried fish, drink coffee all day and wine in the evening.

They do not spend their time on exercise regimes. They neither jog nor do yoga.

Yet, they do not suffer from the typical chronic diseases that most western elderly people are prone too – illnesses like heart disease, obesity and Alzheimer’s.

Dr. Maisel and his team were also surprised that they saw no one over 80 who had cataracts, which most Americans who reach the grand old age are afflicted with.

The 6-month study of the area by Sapineza University and San Diego School of Medicine found that the local inhabitants of Acciaroli have amazingly good blood circulation for their age. After analyzing the blood samples taken from just over 80 elderly people, the researchers realized that each of them had unbelievably low levels of a hormone known as adrenomedullin, which helps to widen blood vessels.

When people age, their bodies usually produce more adrenomedullin, which contracts the blood vessels. This leads to circulatory problems and a whole host of debilitating health issues. Yet, the levels of adrenomedullin in these retired locals are at the same level as those of healthy people in their 20s and 30s.

According to the published results, the scientists found adrenomedullin “in a much reduced quantity in the subjects studied and seems to act as a powerful protecting factor, helping the optimal development of microcirculation.”

This result brings us to the following questions: What is causing this marvelous occurrence, and can we import the solution to my community? The Anti-Aging Secrets of Acciaroli.

Here are 6 possible candidates for the secret of Acciaroli’s residents’ longevity. Each of these lifestyle choices seem to do something important when it comes to preserving our health and helping us live longer, and each of them are typical of the people of Acciaroli.

1. The residents of Acciaroli generally eat local food, including locally caught sardines and anchovies. The anchovies are eaten in virtually every meal, which is interesting because this fish is full of antioxidants, which reduce cholesterol and inflammation. Many of them keep rabbits and chickens, which they kill for meat. Furthermore, the olive oil, wine, fruit and vegetables are all locally grown. The lack of imported foods mean they consume very fresh food, uninfected with pesticides.

2. Locally grown rosemary is also used constantly here, they even add it to their olive oil. Rosemary is considered to be useful in improving brain function, and the particular varieties grown here are being tested too. It could be that the dozen separate compounds found in this rosemary are especially healthy.

3. The people of Acciaroli are incredibly active, though they don’t exercise for the sake of it. Because the region is hilly, they are simply forced to drag themselves up and down, around and around, day after day. Yet, you’ll never see them joining a gym.

4. Take it easy and enjoy life. Acciaroli is a quiet little town, far removed from much of the hustle and bustle that typifies modern living. Thus, the people here are relaxed. They enjoy sitting in cafes, where they talk politics, read the newspapers, drink coffee and take it easy. Every day is like a lazy Sunday afternoon here. According to Dr. Maisel, here ‘it’s a stress free life. There’s a joie de vivre.’ This is important because stress destroys our immune system and eats away at our brain cells.

5. Weather & environment There is plenty of warm sunshine in Acciaroli, helping the locals get their fair share of vitamin D. It’s weather like this that keeps them outdoors and active too. Furthermore, since there is no real industry around here, the air is unpolluted and clean. There is something marvelous about the air that wafts along the town with the cool sea breeze that smells of immortality.

6. Romantic activities Dr. Maisel believes that the elderly people in Acciaroli spend more time enjoying each other’s bedroom embraces than any average couple. He says: “Sexual activity among the elderly appears to be rampant. Maybe living long has something to do with that.” Could this be the secret cause of long life?
In my opinion it rings true. Having a joy for life, being in love with someone and spending time with them is such a revivifying feeling that I can well believe it gives us a few more good years to enjoy!

Whichever of these is ultimately found to be the cause of Acciaroli’s longevity magic, you are probably curious to visit the place to see for yourself. The hamlet is 85 miles south of Naples, and was famously visited by Mediterranean-diet-aficionado, American nutritionist Ancel Keys in 1950.

He was so taken with the area that he remained here with his wife. And guess what – he also lived to be 100 years old!

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Coincidence of a Life Time !

Posted on October 3, 2016. Filed under: Light plus Weighty, The English, Uncategorized |

The passenger steamer SS Warrimoo was quietly knifing its way through the waters of the mid-Pacific on its way from Vancouver to Australia.
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The navigator had just finished working out a star fix & brought the master, Captain John Phillips, the result. The Warrimoo’s position was LAT 0º 31′ N and LON 179 30′ W.  The date was 31 December 1899
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 “Know what this means?” First Mate Payton broke in, “We’re only a few miles from the intersection of the Equator and the International Date Line”.
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Captain Phillips was prankish enough to take full advantage of the opportunity for achieving the navigational freak of a lifetime.  He called his navigators to the bridge to check & double check the ships position.  He changed course slightly so as to bear directly on his mark.  Then he adjusted the engine speed. The calm weather & clear night worked in his favor.
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 At midnight the SS Warrimoo lay on the Equator at exactly the point where it crossed the International Date Line!
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 .The consequences of this bizarre position were many:forward parts (bow) of the ship was in the Southern Hemisphere & the middle of summer.  The rear (stern) was in the Northern Hemisphere & in the middle of winter.  
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The date in the aft part of the ship was 31 December 1899.  Forward it was 1 January 1900.
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This ship was therefore not only in two different days, two different months, two different years, two different seasons but in two different centuries – all at the same time.

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Nelson n Trafalgar in 21st Century …

Posted on September 18, 2015. Filed under: Light plus Weighty, The English |

Nelson: “Order the signal, Hardy.” Hardy: “Aye, aye sir.”

Nelson: “Hold on, this isn’t what I dictated to Flags. What’s the meaning of this?” Hardy: “Sorry sir?”

Nelson (reading aloud): “England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability.’ – What gobbledygook is this for God’s sake?”
Hardy: “Admiralty policy, I’m afraid, sir. We’re an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil’s own job getting “ England ” past the censors, lest it be considered racist.”

Nelson: “Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco.” Hardy: “Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated smoke-free working environments.”

Nelson: “In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the main brace to steel the men before battle.” Hardy: “The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. It’s part of the Government’s policy on binge drinking.”

Nelson: “Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow’s nest, please.” Hardy: “That won’t be possible, sir.” Nelson: “What?” Hardy: “Health and Safety have closed the crow’s nest, sir. No harness; and they said that rope ladders don’t meet regulations. They won’t let anyone up there until proper scaffolding can be erected.”

Nelson: “Then get me the ship’s carpenter without delay, Hardy.” Hardy:”He’s busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the foredeck Admiral.” Nelson: “Wheelchair access? I’ve never heard anything so absurd.” Hardy: “Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier- free environment for the differently abled.”

Nelson: “Differently abled? I’ve only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of the word. I didn’t rise to the rank of admiral by playing the disability card.” Hardy: ” Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under- represented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency.”

Nelson: “I’ve never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy” Hardy: “The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral.” Nelson: “What? This is mutiny!” Hardy: “It’s not that, sir. It’s just that they’re afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There are a couple of legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks.”

Nelson: “Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?” Hardy: “Actually, sir, we’re not.”  Nelson: “We’re not?” Hardy: “No, sir. The French and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy. Nelson: “But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil.” Hardy: “I wouldn’t let the ship’s diversity coordinator hear you saying that sir. You’ll be up on disciplinary report.”e shouldn’t even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation.”                                                                                

Nelson: “You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your King.” Hardy: “Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it’s the rules. It could save your life”

Nelson: “Don’t tell me – Health and Safety. Whatever happened to rum, sodomy and the lash?” Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there’s a ban on corporal punishment. “Nelson: “What about sodomy?” Hardy: “I believe that is now legal, sir.”              

Nelson: “In that case – Kiss me, Hardy.”

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Time for some Humor – and that from an Air line !!!

Posted on July 19, 2015. Filed under: Light plus Weighty |

Kulula Airline attendants make the in-flight “safety lecture” and announcements a bit more entertaining.

On Kulula flights there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want. Passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, “People, people we’re not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!”

On another flight with a very “senior” flight attendant crew, the pilot said, “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.”

“There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane.”


“Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: “Whoa, big fella. WHOA!”

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo , a flight attendant on a flight announced, “Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted.”

From a Kulula employee: ” Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth . To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised.”

In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite.”

Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines.”

Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.”

“As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.” AND On landing, the stewardess said, “Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you’re going to leave anything, please make sure it’s something we’d like to have.”

And from the pilot during his welcome message: “Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!”

Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town : The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, “That was quite a bump and I know what y’all are thinking. I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight attendant’s fault, it was the asphalt.”

Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town , on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what’s left of our airplane to the gate!”

Another flight attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing: “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a “Thanks for flying our airline. He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, “Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?” “Why, no Ma’am,” said the pilot. “What is it?” The little old lady said, “Did we land, or were we shot down?”

After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg , the attendant came on with, “Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal..”

Part of a flight attendant’s arrival announcement: “We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today.. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of Kulula Airways.”

Heard on a Kulula flight. “Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing.. If you can light ’em, you can smoke ’em.”

A plane was taking off from Durban Airport . After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop from Durban to Cape Town , The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight.. Now sit back and relax… OH, MY GOODNESS!” Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!” A passenger then yelled, “That’s nothing. You should see the back of mine!”

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Understanding the Tax System …

Posted on February 19, 2015. Filed under: American Thinkers, Business, Indian Thought, Light plus Weighty |

David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D. Professor of Economics, University of Georgia, put this together to show how our current tax system works based on each segment of our population.For those who understand, no explanation is needed! For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible!This is how it goes.

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.The fifth would pay $1. The sixth would pay $3. The seventh would pay $7. The eighth would pay $12. The ninth would pay $18. The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that’s what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve, “Since you are all such good customers, I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20. Drinks for the ten will now cost just $80”.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free.  But what about the other six men – the paying customers?  How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his ‘fair share’.

They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’;s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so: The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).

The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings). The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).

The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25%savings). The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).

The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59  (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

‘I only got a dollar out of the $20,’ declared the sixth man.  He pointed to the tenth man,’but he got $10!’ ………… ‘Yeah, that’s right,’exclaimed the fifth man. ‘I only saved a dollar, too. It’;s unfair that he got ten times more than I did!’ …………….. ‘That’s true!!’ shouted the seventh man. ‘Why should he get $10 back when I got only two?  The wealthy get all the breaks!’

‘Wait a minute,’yelled the first four men in unison. ‘We didn’t get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!’ ……….

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction.

Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

 P.S.  That’s how in India, business funds disappear to Swiss Banks!!! I suppose all your doubts are cleared now?

 

 

 

 

 

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Lesson for Life …

Posted on January 3, 2015. Filed under: Guide Posts, Light plus Weighty |

The guy opened his wife’s underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package: He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box.
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‘She got this the first time we went to New York , 8 or 9 years ago. She had never put it on – was saving it for a special occasion.

Well, guess this was it. He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothing he was taking to the funeral house – as his wife had just died.

He turned and said:  ‘Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion’.

I think those words changed my life. Now I read more and clean less.
I sit on the porch without worrying about anything.
I spend more time with my family, and less at work.
I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through.
I no longer keep anything.
I use crystal glasses every day.
I’ll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if I feel like it.
I don’t save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to.

The words ‘Someday….’ and ‘ One Day…’ are fading away from my dictionary. If it’s worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now….

I don’t know what my friend’s wife would have done if she knew she wouldn’t be there the next morning – this nobody can tell.

I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends. ………………
She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels………………………….
I’d like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favorite food……………………………
It’s these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come..

Each day, each hour, each minute, is special. Live for today. Tomorrow is promised to no-one.

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