Archive for January, 2012

The Six Methods for Gaining Control over Men/Women …

Posted on January 5, 2012. Filed under: Personal Magnetism, Public Speaking, Searching for Success |

This Post is one of the Posts aimed at Making Your Life a Success.

There was this  Lord Chesterfield whose letters are full of nuggets that have wide  appeal. Here is one such  – “Learning is acquired by reading books but the much more necessary learning, which is knowledge of the world, is acquired by reading men and studying their various facets. You have to look into people as well as at them and take the tune of the company around you.”

With that as the starting point. lets have a look at how we all,  men and women, resort to our most favorite method to influence others to help get our way or crudely put, how to use them.

There are some half dozen methods used by most folk to get their way. Here is a look at each.

At the bottom of the rung is Selfishness.

This may also include and cover the use of sex to get one’s way.  It is indeed the the quid pro quo thing. People use money, favors and even women or women use men to gain control.

Basic low level cheap stuff which sadly is much too rampant. Has been so since the beginning of time.

Slightly above comes the ‘Bullying’ method used to cudgel and brow beat. Here the guy uses ‘Accusation’ or ‘Challenge’ and even ‘Threatens’ one to get his or her way.

Crude and common place for the ‘bullying natures.

Then come the refined methods where guys use Generosity and Liberality and that laced with Politeness to captivate and charm.

These never fail to impress, attract and please.

Lots more refined and adroit than the above is the method of ‘Harmony’ used by the cleverer guys where they seem to be aligned with your views and values but ever so slowly and most subtly they gradually shift you to their own view point.

Then comes ‘Humor’. Like ‘Harmony’ this needs great finesse because Humor is never the telling of jokes or the dirty stuff.

Indeed, ‘Humor is seeing the ludicrous in the serious’.

And one should seldom resort to it until one is able to wholly master this subtle and sublime art of the Mark Twains of the world.

At the top of the pyramid are those emotions most commonly used consciously or unconsciously to get one’s way in this world. These are ‘Interest’, ‘Sympathy’ and ‘Kindness’.

All very easy to apply but sadly not that widely or commonly employed. They cost so little and gain  so much. More importantly they add value to life.

Did not the guy say, “If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive!.”

Look around and see the time of day in how these methods are being used here there and everywhere.

And so Adieu till next time.

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