Archive for March, 2011

Individual Rights!How stupid can one get??? …

Posted on March 12, 2011. Filed under: Light plus Weighty |

Patrick Henry was one of the Day Stars of the American Revolution. He is famed for his, “Caesar had his Brutus, Charles the First had his Cromwell and George III rd may well profit by their example!” And also for his electrifying. “Give me Liberty or Give me Death!”. Always a champion of  the Individual’s Rights, he was fearful that the American Constitution had forged more chains and hence he was responsible for the first ten Amendments to the Constitution.

The current ‘Stella Awards’ would be too much for even this greatest of Individual Rights Champions.

These Awards are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued the McDonald’s in New Mexico , where she purchased coffee. She took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing that?

These are awards for the most outlandish lawsuit verdicts in the U.S.

In Seventh Place

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store.  The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.

In Sixth Place

Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles , California , won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn’t notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor’s hubcaps.

In Fifth Place

Terrence Dickson, of Bristol , Pennsylvania , who was leaving a house he had just burglarized by way of the garage.  Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open.  Worse, he couldn’t re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut.  Forced to sit for eight, count ’em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner’s insurance company claiming undue mental anguish.  Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000 for his anguish.  We should all have this kind of anguish.

In Fourth Place

Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered 4th Place in the Stella’s when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor’s beagle – even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner’s fenced yard.  Williams did not get as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun.

In Third Place

Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, because a jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone.  The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

In Second Place

Kara Walton, of Claymont , Delaware , sued the owner of a night club in a  nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor, knocking out her two front teeth.  Even though Ms Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000/- Oh, yeah, plus dental expenses.

And the Winner

This year’s runaway Stella Award Winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma , who purchased new 32-foot Winnebago motor home.  On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver’s seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich.  Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned.  Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner’s manual that she couldn’t actually leave the driver’s seat while the cruise control was set.  The Oklahoma jury awarded her — are you sitting down? — $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home.  Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit – just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home!

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Hell hath No Fury like a Teacher Scorned …..

Posted on March 6, 2011. Filed under: Indian Thought, Searching for Success |

There was this super successful crowd with one school teacher amongst them. They were mostly flaunting their success and what they made. And then some one spotted this teacher and condescendingly asked, “You are a Teacher! Tell me what do you make?”

She was a quiet reflective person and was rather taken aback at the intended humiliation. She paused to get back her cool and to collect her thoughts. There was pin drop silence and everyone was looking at her. She looked back at each, turn by turn and then slowly, very slowly, in a low, soft tone, began to speak, gradually adding intensity as she warmed up.

Here is what she said. “You want to know what I make? Well, lets see what I make. For starters, I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents could not make them sit for 5 minutes without an IPod, Game Cube or a Movie Rental.

I also make kids work harder than they ever thought they could and I even make a C plus feel like he is a Congressional Medal of Honor winner.

And you all want to know what I make? I make kids wonder. I make them question. I make them apologize and mean it. I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions.

I teach them how to write and then make them write. Keyboarding is not everything. I make them read, read and Read. I make them show all their work in math. They use their God given brains and not the man made computer.

I make my students from other countries learn everything they need to know about English while preserving their own unique cultural identity.

More importantly, I make my class room a place where my students feel safe. Finally, I make them understand that if they use the gifts they have been given and they work hard enough and, most importantly, they follow their hearts, they can surely succeed in life.

Then when people judge me by what I make, with me knowing money is not everything, I can hold my head high and pay no attention because people are ignorant.

You want to know what I make? I make a Difference in all Your Lives – educating kids and preparing them to become doctors, engineers, CEO’s and above all teachers.

And now what do you guys make???

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Mr Chips would sure be turning in his grave …

Posted on March 4, 2011. Filed under: Books, Light plus Weighty, Movies |

‘Good Bye Mr Chips’ was a movie classic which was made in 1939. Apart from other things, its claim to fame is that it beat Gone With The Wind’s Clarke Gable and got its lead actor the Oscar for Best Actor. This guy, Robert Donat, also beat Jimmy Stewart and Laurence Olivier. By the way, the latter had got his wife, Vivien Leigh the role of Scarlett in GWTW.

Mr Chips rebuke to a boy in his class is unforgettable – “Your father was a clown. Your Grandfather, before him, was a bigger one. But you, My Dear James, are the biggest of the lot!”

Looking at the following answers, Mr Chips, along with other great teachers and educators, would surely be turning in their graves.

Answers by 16 yr olds to questions in the 2010 GCSE  examination in Swindon, Wiltshire,UK.

Q.  Name the four seasons.
A.  Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. (Think food & more food!!)

Q.  Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A.  Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. (Brilliance has no boundaries)

Q.  How is dew formed?
A.  The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. (A great work-out there)

Q.  What causes the tides in the oceans?
A.  The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight. (Shouldn’t we all thank god that at least the relevant objects are referred; its a great beginning!)

Q.  What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A.  If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed. (Your vital stats can take U places, if leveraged well)

Q.  In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A.  Very important. Sex can only happen when there is an election. (Are u still confused over the conduct of governments)

Q.  What happens to your body as you age?
A.  When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. (Sure close, next step being becoming universal)

Q.  What happens to a boy when he reaches  puberty?
A.  He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. (So true)

Q.  Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A.  Premature death. (That would work)

Q.  What is artificial insemination?
A.  When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow. (What were u thinking!)

Q.  How can you delay milk turning sour?
A.  Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant)

Q.  How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g.  The abdomen)
A.  The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the  borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U. (What the *!!*???)

Q.  What is the fibula?
A.  A small lie.  🙂

Q.  What does ‘varicose’ mean?
A.  Nearby. (Very very close & tight In their brain I am sure)

Q.  What is the most common form of birth control?
A.  Most people prevent contraception by wearing a  condominium (No wonder more babies are made there)

Q.  What is a terminal illness?
A.  When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q.  Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A.  Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas. (Simplicity is not a crime)

Q.  Use the word ‘judicious’ in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A.  Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

Q.  What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A.  Benign is what you will be after you be eight. (Don’t waste your breath, this one will wither away soon)

Q.  What is a turbine?
A.  Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head. (That’s how their energy needs are taken care of )

Q.  What are steroids?
A.  Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot  yourself now , there is little hope)

Q.  Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A.  The caesarean section is a district in Rome. (No wonder their family gynac wanted to commit mass murder & then suicide)

Q.  What is a seizure? A.  A Roman  Emperor. (Julius  Seizure – I came, I saw, I had a fit).

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